Asking for Permission to Marry in Japanese 

Posted by on August 2, 2019 – Japanese Study, Life in Japan

when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Are you engaged in a relationship with a Japanese lady and are planning to marry her? In Japan, it is important culturally to visit the parents of the partner for permission to marry. You may be from a different culture where such procedure is not needed. However, you are still expected to understand and practice the Japanese engagement customs even if you are a foreigner.

This guide will provide a key sentence which will simplify things as well as an explanation video that will help you to understand how to use the phrase.

How to Ask the “Key Question”

It is best if you speak Japanese well. if you can’t, make sure to at least remember how to say “May I marry your daughter”.

The Japanese sentence for this would be:

(Musume san to kekkon sasetekudasai).

The literal meaning of this sentence is “please allow me to marry Your daughter. When saying this, do not make it sound like you are making a friendly discussion with them. It is very important to be as polite as you can. Also, Show your determination and sincereness by doing the 土下座(どげざ dogeza) posture. It is the highest level of prostration for making a request in the Japanese etiquette.



This is the least that you must do when asking for marriage permission from your partner’s parents.  Whether they approve your requests depend on many other factors such as their perception of international marriage and expectations on their future Son-in-Law.  Do not be discouraged if you have not yet received positive messages from your partner’s parents, maybe they are just testing on your determination and perseverance. Continue visiting them and asking for their permission until you finally succeed.

Let’s watch a video to recap on what we have learned

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