You might already learn that there are many ways to say “no” in Japanese, but did you know that Japanese people themselves never directly use the word “no” in conversations? Why is this the case? And is there another way that Japanese people say that two-letter word?
In this episode, we’ll take a look at how Japanese people say “no,” as well as why Japanese people tend to avoid conflicts during conversation. We’ll also take a look at Japanese communication culture and why context matters in the Japanese language as well.
Welcome to Coto Radio, a Japanese learning podcast by Coto Japanese Academy, Japan’s No. 1 Japanese language school. Each episode, our host combines captivating storytelling with engaging conversations, all delivered in clear, natural Japanese.
Why Japanese people don’t directly say “no”
Japanese people often avoid saying a direct “no” because communication in Japan tends to prioritize harmony, politeness, and preserving relationships.
For example, Coto Radio host Kinjo-sensei tried to invite Kinoshita-sensei out to a drinking party, to which she politely declined. Interestingly, she never used the word “no.” This is the Japanese way of declining invitations, or just saying the word “no” without saying “no.” Instead, they say “chotto…” or explain their situation to the other person they’re talking to.
It’s not that Japanese people don’t want to say no, but they often phrase “no” in a subtle way because the word “no” might be too direct for the person they’re talking to. A blunt “no” can feel confrontational, embarrassing, or disrespectful, especially if it risks making the other person “lose face.”
Japanese people do say “no,” but in a different way
Again, Kinjo-sensei tries to invite Kinoshita-sensei out to a drinking party tomorrow, but she explained that lately she’s had to go to so many drinking parties lately, that she will have to decline. Notice how she never says the word “no” directly, but instead explains her difficult situation to Kinjo-sensei.
However, this cultural nuance might be difficult to understand for non-Japanese people, as they might interpret this polite decline as an acceptance, or a way to say “I’m up for this task.” It’s important that just because a Japanese person did not say “no” directly, that they will always say “yes” to everything.
Japan has a high-context culture, and Japanese people tend to avoid conflict
In Japanese culture, there is a concept called wa (和), which is usually translated into English as “harmony.” It refers to a peaceful sense of unity and cooperation within a social group, where maintaining group harmony is valued more highly than individual interests.
Compared to other low-context cultures, such as many European and North American countries, Japan has a high-context culture, which is also reflected in how Japanese people speak to each other. To get conversations, Japanese people often “read between the lines” as well as “read the air” to get a better sense of the conversation.
He explains that Japanese people tend to avoid conflict, especially in conversation. He explains that because there are many ways to ask something in a way that is hard to say “no” to, many Japanese people have no choice but to say “yes.” Kinoshita-sensei agrees, and also says that to avoid confrontation, they sometimes would switch topics.
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Vocabulary from the podcast
Before you read the full transcript or listen to the episode, make sure you know some of these new words that appear in their conversations.
| Japanese | Romaji | English Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| こんにちは | konnichiwa | Hello |
| お元気ですか | ogenki desu ka | How are you? |
| 本日も | honjitsu mo | Again today |
| お届けしてまいります | otodoke shite mairimasu | We will bring you |
| よろしくお願いいたします | yoroshiku onegai itashimasu | Please take care of it / I look forward to working with you (polite) |
| 質問を紹介します | shitsumon wo shoukai shimasu | I will introduce a question. |
| 届いた | todoita | Arrived / Was received |
| 嬉しいですね | ureshii desu ne. | It’s nice, isn’t it? |
| 誘う | sasou | To invite |
| 難しい | muzukashii | Difficult |
| 無理しないでください | muri shinaide kudasai | Please don’t push yourself |
| また誘ってください | mata sasotte kudasai | Please invite me again |
| 返事をする | henji wo suru | To respond/answer |
| シチュエーション | shichueeshon | Situation |
| それは難しいですね | sore wa muzukashii desu ne | That’s difficult, isn’t it? |
| ハイコンテクスト | hai kontekusuto | High-context |
| ローコンテクスト | roo kontekusuto | Low-context |
| 察する | sassuru | To sense/guess |
| 空気を読む | kuuki wo yomu | To read the air / to pick up on the atmosphere |
| 感謝 | kansha | Gratitude |
| 疑問 | gimon | Question/Doubt |
| お待ちしております | o machishite orimasu | We are waiting for you |
New Grammar from the Podcast
| Grammar Pattern | Romaji | Meaning | Example Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|
| ～かもしれません | ~kamoshiremasen | Maybe / might | 日本人はノーと言わないかもしれません。 |
| ～と思います | ~to omoimasu | I think that… | 日本人はノーと言わないと思います。 |
| ～でしょう | ~deshou | I suppose… | 木下先生は忙しいでしょう。 |
| ～ので | ~node | Because/so | 私は毎日「イエス」と「ノー」を言っていますので。 |
Podcast Transcript
The following is a transcript from an episode of Coto Radio, a podcast produced by Coto Academy and available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. For the complete experience, we recommend listening to the original audio. This transcript has been slightly edited for clarity and brevity.
Kinjo-sensei:
こんにちは、みなさん！！お元気ですか。
Konnichiwa, minasan!! Ogenki desu ka.
Hello everyone! How are you?
「Cotoラジオ」、本日も始まりました！！
“Coto rajio”, honjitsu mo hajimarimashita!!
“Coto Radio” is back today!!
パーソナリティの私（わたくし）金城と、木下先生でお届けしてまいります。
Paasonariti no watakushi Kinjo to, Kinoshita sensei de otodokeshite mairimasu.
I’m your host, Kinjo, and today we’ll be bringing you the show with Kinoshita-sensei.
木下先生、よろしくお願いいたします。
Kinoshita sensei, yoroshiku onegai itashimasu.
Pleasure to have you here, Kinoshita-sensei.
Kinoshita-sensei:
はい、どうぞよろしくお願いいたします。
Hai, douzo yoroshiku onegai itashimasu.
Pleasure to be here.
Kinjo-sensei:
今日はCotoラジオリスナーの方からいただいた質問を紹介します。
Kyou wa Coto rajio risunaa no kata kara itadaita shitsumon wo shoukaishimasu.
Today, we’ll introduce a question received from a Coto Radio listener.
Kinoshita-sensei:
わぁ、どんな質問ですか。
Waa, donna shitsumon desu ka.
Wow, what kind of question is it?
Kinjo-sensei:
はい、では早速読みたいと思います。
Hai, dewa sasoku yomitai to omoimasu.
Alright, let’s read it right now.
「こんにちは。いつも楽しくCotoラジオを聞いています。私には日本人の友だちがいますが、私が日本語の教科書で習ったような『いいえ』を一度も使いません。
“Konnichiwa. Itsumo tanoshiku Coto rajio wo kiiteimasu. Watashi ni wa nihonjin no tomodachi ga iimasu ga, watashi ga nihongo no kyoukasho de naratta youna “iie” wo ichido mo tsukaimasen.
“Hello. I always enjoy listening to Coto Radio. I have Japanese friends, but they never use the ‘no’ I learned in my Japanese textbooks.
日本人は「ノー」と言わないのですか。それとも私の友だちが特別なんですか。今度ラジオで教えてください。」
Nihonjin wa “noo” to iwanai no desu ka. Soretomo watashi no tomodachi ga tokubetsu nandesu ka. Kondo no rajio de oshiete kudasai.”
Do Japanese people never say “no?” Or is my friend a special case? Please tell me on the radio next time.”
―こんなメールが届いたんです。
Konna meeru ga todoitandesu.
We received this kind of message.
Kinoshita-sensei:
リスナーの方が質問を送ってくださったんですね。嬉しいですね！
Risunaa no kata ga shitsumon wo okutte kudasattandesu ne. Ureshii desu ne!
A listener sent us a question! I’m so happy!
Kinjo-sensei
そうですね。たくさんの人が聞いて、質問が届いて、リスナーの人たちと一緒に番組を作っていけるのは、いいですね。
Sou desu ne. Takusan no hito ga kiite, shitsumon ga todoite, risunaa no hitotachi to issho ni ni bangumi wo tsukutte ikeru no wa, ii desu ne.
Yes, it’s great that so many people are listening, questions are coming in, and we can create the show together with our listeners.
Kinoshita-sensei:
本当ですね！ところで、私は毎日「イエス」と「ノー」を言っています。金城先生はどうですか。
Hontou desu ne! Tokoro de, watashi wa mainichi “iesu” to “noo” wo itteimasu. Kinjou sensei wa dou desu ka.
Really! By the way, I’ve been saying “yes” and “no” every day. What about you, Kinjo-sensei?
Kinjo-sensei:
僕も「イエス」、「ノー」を言っていますよ。
Boku mo “iesu”, “noo” wo itteimasu yo.
I also say “yes” and “no” as well.
Kinoshita-sensei:
じゃあどうしてリスナーさんは日本人は「ノー」と言わないと思ったのでしょう。
Jyaa doushite risunaa san wa nihonjin wa “noo” to iwanai to omotta no deshou.
Then why does the listener think that Japanese people never say “no”?
Kinjo-sensei:
そうですよね。不思議ですよね。―という事で今日のテーマは…
Sou desu yo ne. Fushigi desu yo ne. Toiu koto de kyou no teema wa…
That’s right. It’s strange. That’s why today’s theme is…
「日本人は本当にノーと言わないのですか？」。
“Nihonjin wa hontou ni noo to iwanai no desu ka.”
“Do Japanese People Really Never Say No?”
Kinjo-sensei:
では木下先生、突然ですが…。
Dewa Kinoshita sensei, totsuzen desu ga…
So Kinoshita-sensei, this is sudden, but…
「今晩、渋谷で飲み会をするんですが、一緒に行きませんか。」
“Konban, Shibuya de nomikai wo surundesu ga, isshoni ikimasen ka.”
“We will be having a drinking party in Shibuya tonight, shall we go together?”
Kinoshita-sensei
「え、今晩ですか。うーん、今晩は、ちょっと…。」
“E, konban desu ka. Uun, konban wa, chotto…”
“Huh? Tonight? Hmm, tonight is a bit…”
Kinjo-sensei
「そうですか。じゃ、また今度。」
“Sou desu ka. Jaa, mata kondo.”
“I see. Then, maybe next time.”
Kinoshita-sensei
「すみません。また誘ってください。」
“Sumimasen. Mata sasotte kudasai.”
“Sorry. Please invite me some other time.”
Kinjo-sensei:
いまの会話で木下先生は今日の飲み会に来ないことを言いました。でも一度も「ノー」という言葉を使いませんでした。これが僕たち日本人の断り方なんです。
Ima no kaiwa de Kinoshita sensei wa kyou no nomikai ni konai koto wo iimashita. Demo ichido mo “noo” toiu kotoba wo tsukaimasendeshita. Kore ga bokutachi nihonjin no kotowari kata nandesu.
In our conversation just now, Kinoshita-sensei said she wouldn’t be coming to tonight’s drinking party. But she never once used the word “no.” That’s how we Japanese decline things.
Kinoshita-sensei:
そうですね。私、「ノー」と言いませんでした。
Sou desu ne. Watashi, “noo” to iimasen deshita.
That’s right. I never said “no.”
Kinjo-sensei:
「ノー」使わないで「ノー」を言う。これが日本人の「ノー」なんです。
“Noo” tsukawanai de “noo” wo iu.” Kore ga nihonjin no “noo” nandesu.
Saying “no” without using the word “no.” That’s the Japanese way of saying “no.”
Kinjo-sensei:
では私たち日本人はいったいどんな言葉で「ノー」と言うか、いくつか紹介します。
Dewa watashitachi nihonjin wa ittai donna kotoba de “noo” toiu ka, ikutsu ka shoukai shimasu.
So what words do we Japanese actually use to say “no”? Let me give you a few examples.
木下先生、また飲み会の話をしましょう。僕がもう一度誘いますので「ノー」と返事をしてください。
Kinoshita sensei, mata nomikai no hanashi wo shimashou. Boku ga mo ichido sasoimasu no de “noo” to henji wo shite kudasai.
Kinoshita-sensei, let’s talk about the drinking party again. I’ll invite you again, so please reply by saying “no.”
Kinjo-sensei:
「木下先生、もし今日がダメなら明日はどうですか。」
“Kinoshita sensei, moshi kyou ga dame nara ashita wa dou desu ka.”
“Kinoshita-sensei, if today doesn’t work, how about tomorrow?”
Kinoshita-sensei:
「明日…ですか…。うーーーん、明日も…難しいですねーーー。」
“Ashita… desu ka… uuuun, ashita mo… muzukashii desu neeee.”
“Tomorrow… Hmm… Tomorrow is also… difficult, I’m afraid.”
Kinjo-sensei:
「あ、ずっと居なくてもいいですよ。ちょっと来るだけでもいいです。」
“A, zutto to inakuremoii desu yo. Chotto kuru dake demo ii desu.”
“Ah, you don’t have to stay the whole time. Just dropping by for a bit is fine.”
Kinoshita-sensei:
「ありがとうございます。でも実は、最近飲み会がたくさんあって…。」
“Arigatou gozaimasu. Demo jitsu wa, saikin nomikai ga takusan atte…”
“Thank you. But honestly, I’ve had a lot of drinking parties lately…”
Kinjo-sensei:
「あー、そうでしたか。じゃ、無理しないでください。」
“Aa, sou deshita ka. Jaa, muri shinaide kudasai.”
“Ahh, I see. Well, don’t push yourself.”
Kinoshita-sensei:
「すみません。また誘ってください。」
“Sumimasen. Mata sasotte kudasai.”
“I’m sorry. Please invite me some other time.”
Kinjo-sensei:
木下先生、ありがとうございました。これが日本人の「ノー」です。
Kinoshita sensei, arigatou gozaimashita. Kore ga nihonjin “noo” desu.
Thank you, Kinoshita-sensei. This is the Japanese way of saying “no.”
Kinoshita-sensei:
そうですね。最後まで言わないことで「ノー」を言ったり、自分のシチュエーションを話して「ノー」と言ったりします。
Soudesu ne. Saigo made iwanai koto de “noo” wo ittari, jibun no shichueeshon wo hanashite “noo” to ittari shimasu.
That’s right. We say “no” by not finishing our sentence, or by explaining our situation to say “no.”
Kinjo-sensei:
はい。この日本人の「ノー」と言わない「ノー」は日常会話（デイリー・カンバセーション）の中だけでなく、ビジネスシーンでも使いますね。
Hai. Kono nihonjin no “noo” to iwanai “noo” wa nichijou kaiwa (deirii · kanbaseeshon) no naka dake de naku, bijinesu shiin de mo tsukaimasu ne.
Yes. This Japanese “no” that doesn’t say “no” isn’t just used in daily conversation, but also in business settings.
Kinoshita-sensei:
そうですね。できないことを言いたい時や、すぐに答えが言えない時に「検討します。」と言ったりしますね。それを聞くと私たちは「ノー」と理解します。
Sou desu ne. Dekinai koto wo iitai toki ya, sugu ni kotae ga ienai toki ni “kentou shimasu.” to ittarishimasu ne. Sore wo kikuto watashitachi wa “noo” to rikai shimasu.
That’s right. When we want to say something can’t be done, or when we can’t give an immediate answer, we might say “I’ll look into it.” Hearing that, we understand it as a “no.”
Kinjo-sensei:
はい。でも日本人の「ノー」はお互い日本人だったらOKですが、外国の人と仕事をする時、大きなトラブルとなることもあるんです。
Hai. Demo nihonji no “noo” wa otagai nihonjin dattara OK desu ga, gaikoku no hito to shigoto wo suru toki, ookina toraburu to naru koto mo arundesu.
Yes. But while this Japanese way of saying “no” is fine between Japanese people, it can sometimes cause major problems when working with foreigners.
Kinoshita-sensei:
えー、そうなんですか。例えば…？
Ee, sounan desu ka. Tatoeba…?
Really? LIke, for example…?
Kinjo-sensei:
例えば、仕事で何かリクエストがあった時、できないと思った日本人が「ノー」の意味で「それは難しいですね。」と言ったら、外国人の人は「イエス」だと思って、「素晴らしいです！難しいことにチャレンジしてくれてありがとう！」と言って感謝することがあるそうです。
Tatoeba, shigoto de nanika rikuesuto ga atta toki, dekinai to omotta nihonjin ga “noo” no imi de “sore wa muzukashii desu ne.” To ittara, gaikoku hito no hito wa “iesu” da to omotte, ”subarashii desu! Muzukashii koto ni charenji shite kurete arigatou!” To itte kansha suru koto ga aru sou desu.
For example, if a Japanese person gets a work request and thinks they can’t do it, they might say “That’s difficult,” meaning “no.” But they might interpret that as “yes” and say, “Great! Thank you for taking on this challenge!” expressing gratitude.
Kinoshita-sensei:
へー、驚きました。日本と外国でまったく逆の意味になってしまうことがあるんですね。
Hee, odorokimashita. Nihon to gaikoku dee mattaku gyoku no imi ni natteshimau koto ga arundesu ne.
Wow, that’s surprising. So it can mean the complete opposite depending on whether it’s Japan or abroad.
Kinjo-sensei:
さて、木下先生は「ハイコンテクスト」と「ローコンテクスト」という言葉を聞いたことがありますか。
Sate, Kinoshita sensei wa “haicontekusuto” to “roocontekusto” toiu kotoba wo kiita koto ga arimasu ka.
So, Kinoshita-sensei, have you heard the terms “high-context” and “low-context?”
Kinoshita-sensei:
はい、コミュニケーション文化の違いですね。
Hai, komyunikeeshon bunka no chigai desu ne.
Yes, those refer to cultural differences in communication.
Kinjo-sensei:
そうです。日本のコミュニケーションはハイコンテクストです。
Sou desu. Nihon no komyunikeeshon wa haicontekusuto desu.
Exactly. Japanese communication is high-context.
お互いに言わなくてもわかることは、言葉にしません。「察すること」や「空気を読むこと」で、なるべく気持ちよく、コンフリクトのないコミュニケーションを取ろうとします。
Otagai ni iwanakutemo wakaru koto wa, kotoba ni shimasen. “Sassuru koto” ya “kuuki wo yomu koto” de, narubeku kimoshi yoku, konfurikuto no nai komyunikeeshon wo torou to shimasu.
Things understood without being said aren’t put into words. We try to communicate as pleasantly and conflict-free as possible through “reading between the lines” and “reading the air.”
Kinoshita-sensei:
会話のコンフリクトを避けるために、急に話を変えることもありますね。
Kaiwa no konfurikuto wo sakeru tame ni, kyuu ni hanashi wo kaeiru koto mo arimasu ne.
Sometimes conversations suddenly change topics to avoid conflict, right?
Kinjo-sensei:
日本人は対立を嫌いますから。これは海外から来ると難しいときもあると思います。
Nihonjin wa tairitsu wo kirai masu kara. Kore wa kaigai kara kuru to muzukashii toki mo aru to omoimasu.
Japanese people dislike confrontation. This can be difficult for people coming from overseas.
Kinoshita-sensei:
そうですね。これも日本人のコミュニケーション方法ですね。
Sou desu ne. Kore mo nihonjin no komyunikeeshon houhou desu ne.
That’s true. It’s part of the Japanese communication style.
Kinjo-sensei:
そして逆に「ノー」を言えなくなる言い方もありますよね。
Soshite gyaku ni “ noo” wo ienaku naru iikata mo arimasuyo ne.
Conversely, there are also ways of phrasing things that make it hard to say “no.”
例えば「これができるのはあなたしかいませんよ。」とか「ぜひあなたにやっていただきたいんです。」のように。
Tatoeba “ore ga dekiru no wa anata shika imasen yo.” toka “zehi anata ni yatte itadakitaindesu.” no you ni.
For example, “Only you can do this,” or “I really want you to do it.”
Kinoshita-sensei:
そうですね。私、こう言われると「イエス」しか答えがないと思って、「はい、わかりました。」と言ってしまいます。
Sou desu ne. Watashi, kouiwareru to °iesu° shika kotae ga nai to omotte, ° hai, wakarimashita.° to itteshimaiasu.
Yeah. When I hear that, I feel like I have no choice but to say “Yes,” so I end up saying, “Yes, I understand.”
Kinjo-sensei:
これも対立を避けたいところからくるのでしょうか？？すごいですよね。「お願いします。」と言わずに「イエス」を言わせるんですからね。
Kore mo tairitsu wo saketai tokoro kara kuru no deshou ka?? Sugoi desu yo ne. “Onegaishimasu.” to iwazu ni “iesu” wo iwaserun desu kara ne.
Does this also stem from wanting to avoid confrontation?? It’s amazing, right? They get you to say “Yes” without even saying “Please.”
Kinoshita-sensei:
これらも日本語や日本文化の面白さだととらえて、うまく活用できるといいですね！
Kore kara mo nihongo ya nihon bunka no omoshirosa dato toraete, umaku katysuyou dekiru to ii desu ne!
It would be great if we could see these as interesting aspects of Japanese language and culture and learn to use them effectively!
Kinjo-sensei:
はい、というわけで今日の「なぜ？どうして？」シリーズ、トピックは「日本人は本当にノーと言わないのですか」は以上となります。
Hai, toiuwakede kyou no “Naze? Doushite?” shiriizu, toppiku wa “nihonjin wa hontou ni noo to iwanai no desu ka” wa ijou to narimasu.
Alright, that wraps up today’s “Why? How?” series topic: “Do Japanese People Really Never Say No?”
皆さん、いかがでしたでしょうか。木下先生は、どうでしたか。
Minasan, ikagadeshita deshou ka. Kinoshita sensei wa, dou deshita ka.
What did you all think? What about you, Kinoshita-sensei?
Kinoshita-sensei:
はい。日本語を教えるということは、ボキャブラリーや文型（センテンス・パターン）を教えるだけでなく、こういう日本語カルチャーも一緒に紹介しないといけないんだな、と思いました。
Yes. Teaching Japanese isn’t just about vocabulary and sentence patterns—it also means introducing aspects of Japanese culture like this.
Kinjo-sensei:
そうですね。僕も毎日日本語を教える教師として、とても勉強になりました。
That’s right. As a teacher who teaches Japanese every day, I learned a lot too.
この質問をくださったリスナーさんに感謝です！
Kono shitsumon kudasatta risunaa san ni kansha desu!
Thank you to our listener for this question!
Kinoshita-sensei:
はい！
Hai!
Yes!
Kinjo-sensei:
このラジオでは皆さんが「なぜ？どうして？」と思う事に答えていきたいと思います。
Kono rajio de wa minasan ga “naze? Doushite?” to omou koto ni kotaeteikitai to omoimasu.
On this radio show, we want to answer the things you all wonder about “Why? How come?”
ぜひみなさんが思った「疑問」をこのラジオに送ってください。
Zehi minasan ga omotta “gimon” wo kono radio ni okutte kudasai.
Please send us any questions related to this radio show.
できるだけお答えしたいと思います。たくさんのご質問、お待ちしております。それではまたお会いしましょう。
Dekiru dake okotaeshitai to omoimasu. Takusan no goshitsumon, omachishite orimasu. Sore de wa mata oaishimashou.
We’ll try our best to answer them. We look forward to receiving lots of questions. See you next time.
木下先生、今日はどうもありがとうございました！
Kinoshita sensei, kyou wa doumo arigatou gozaimashita!
Kinoshita-sensei, thank you so much for being here today!
Kinoshita-sensei:
ありがとうございました！！
Arigatou gozaimashita!!
Thank you so much!!
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FAQ
Do Japanese people rarely say “no?”
While they do not say the word directly, they will try to say no in a more subtle way. This is because the word “no” is too direct and might come across as rude.
What do Japanese people say instead of "no?”
They might try to explain the circumstances of why they will decline an invitation, for example, or say things like “chotto…” or “muzukashii.”
Why do Japanese people say yes to most things?
This is because the requests are phrased in a way that might sound like they have to do it, so most Japanese people will say “yes” instead of “no.” That doesn’t mean that they say “yes” to everything, however.
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